A Holiday
It certainly has been a good week or so since my last post, but a whole lot has been happening!
That's right, loyal reader(s)! There might actually be some fun and entertaining video work showing up on this very blog sometime in the next few days!
What have you got to look forward to?
So glad you asked! I've actually been collaborating with my brother, comedy writer Max Lance, on a new web series. It humorously depicts very abridged and more-or-less-accurate topics in history, arts, classics, and literature. In the next couple of days, you can look forward to "Art History in Three Minutes", and who knows, maybe some more awesome or hilarious works of cinematic genius.
Currently, I'm supposed to be drawing the images for "Hamlet in Three Minutes", but I took a break to check my email three or four times, watch the first ten minutes of 8 Mile, eat, stare at the ceiling, and write this.
Alright, back to work I go!
A Revision
It should be noted that the Wooflet can also be made with salami, if you happen to be of the opinion that mixing eggs and hot dogs is the work of commoners and, well, broke college students.
Of course, this also calls for a revision of its name, considering the removal of the hot dog element renders the inclusion of "woof" questionable. Thus, it will be called a Salamlet.
Have a nice breakfast!
A Rainy Weekend Breakfast
So I've slept. Pretty much through Thursday and Friday. History wanted to see a cut of the pilot on Wednesday, so after Saturday's all-nighter, I went ahead and did more late nights editing through the beginning of the week. This, however, has nothing to do with this morning's post.
Today's post is about breakfast.
I am all about cooking, especially when it comes to breakfast, so today, loyal reader(s), you can read this blog and even cook along! Today, I'll be making something that can really only be seen as a college student's kind of breakfast, which is clearly shown by its use of... whatever happens to be in the fridge after stumbling out of bed on Sunday morning.
Anyway, I now present: The Wooflet, which is a somewhat clever (ish) combination of "woof" and "omelet". I promise it tastes delicious, so now that I've made that promise, don't be alarmed when I reveal the inclusion of a hot dog in an omelet recipe.
Alright! Right off the bat, make sure you have the following: half of an onion, two or three eggs, some milk, a hot dog, butter, crushed red pepper.
Now go ahead and dice up that onion half. Now that I've gotten a handle on uploading photos, I can add that it should look something like this:
Next, cut a hot dog in half, then dice it up sideways, which should leave you with a bunch of half-circle hot dog bits. It might look a little like this:
Now throw some butter into a small, moderately heated frying pan! Just enough to cover the bottom and some of the sides.
Add in the onions first, and let them cook up just a little before adding the hot dog. Then, go ahead and throw it all together.
Next, it's time to add in the eggs. In a separate container, beat two or three eggs, depending on how hungry you are. On this particular morning, I happened to be strikingly hungry, so I opted for a third. Throw in a dash of milk and mix it all together, then pour.
Once you've reached this stage, make sure you are redistributing the contents of the omelet every so often, so as not to overcook any one section of egg. It might even be wise to turn the heat down just a bit. Remember: eggs tend to keep cooking for a little while once the heat is off, and even once they're out of the pan. I think.
Another rule of cooking is to keep the following three words in mind: Crushed Red Pepper.
Add it.
Now once you feel physically and mentally prepared, which you should be, because omelets are enthralling, it's time to flip the omelet. Use whatever method you prefer, whether it be by spatula or simple physics. Unfortunately, I did not get a good picture of this, because one can only multitask so much.
Once the Wooflet is flipped, it only needs to cook a little longer, so fry it up to your heart's content, turn off the burner, and throw your delicious new breakfast indulgence on your favorite plate.
Other optional challenges would be to explain to your half-asleep roommates why you are taking pictures of yourself making breakfast, or for a more delicious option, turn this omelet into a sandwich.
Now go enjoy a delicious Wooflet! I'm going to bed.
A Late Night
It's almost three in the morning and I'm at the edit system. I'm back in Boston now and I think I slept enough during the drive home from Pennsylvania to get me through digitizing all the footage in one night. I know it probably could have just waited until tomorrow and I probably could have gone home and gone to bed, but when it really comes down to it, I didn't want to.
Digitizing tapes is really one of the most relaxing parts of editing and it's especially relaxing after a three-day Winter shoot and an eight-hour drive. All I really have to do is change settings and change tapes every half hour or so, and in the meantime, I get the first look at the result of all of our hard work. It's a nice way to decompress and remember all of the events of the shoot. For some reason, I feel like whenever I'm on the actual film shoot, days just seem to stretch themselves out so far, and by even the second day, it's difficult to believe that the previous day happened so recently. Now I'm not sure if that makes the least bit of sense, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who experiences this, but right now I'm looking at the footage of the host on his motorcycle, and I know that this was shot just three days ago, but it feels like it's been at least a week.
So I really haven't written all that much so far, because I'm looking for ways to keep myself awake through this whole process. I imagine that I'll start to get tired by around four, so I've gotten myself ready for a long night. I'm already on AIM, and having a lovely chat with a friend in Chicago who decided to drink heavily and play Smash Brothers as opposed to joining his roommates at a strip club. I'll probably check facebook a dozen times between now and sunrise. I may try and catch up on a week's worth of FML if I get desperate, but most importantly, I have a whole wall of my boss' DVD collection within arm's reach.
So this might not be the most humorous or insightful entry so far, but I don't really care, because I'm going to go watch Blood Diamond.
Then Sin City.
Then Collateral.
Then A History of Violence.
A Civilian
One of the most charming aspects of being on location is when a bystander approaches the crew and asks, "are you guys making a movie?" or "what movie are you all shooting over here?". For some reason, no matter how large of a crew, this always seems to happen. I could be on something more professional or just out with my friends, with a crew of four or five people, armed with no more then a handycam and maybe a tripod if we're feeling fancy, but either way, somebody will stop and ask if we're making the next blockbuster. The coolest part is that you can tell them anything and they'll still be impressed. If a civilian, and by that I mean somebody who isn't involved at all with production, pops the question and expects the answer to be something they might actually get to see someday, they'll still express bewilderment once you tell them that you're only out shooting B-roll for your YouTube webseries that has a single-digit view count.
What I'm trying to say is, being a part of the crew or just having shared the experience of being involved in production is a lot like being in on some big secret. I might just be tired from day two of this Gettysburg shoot, but for some reason it reminds me of elementary school, when the big joke was to convince other kids to join the Pen Fifteen club by writing it on their own forehead with a sharpie (go ahead, give it a shot).
I guess that's a bit of a stretch. What I'm really getting at is that it's refreshing to be reminded of all the people who see media production as some inexplicable magic, or maybe even the work of voodoo, in some extreme cases. Of course, many of these people will probably get to experience such luxuries as job security and regular sleep schedules, but they'll never really know what it's like to wait outside in the freezing cold at five in the morning for the perfect glint of sunrise in order to get a shot that won't be on screen for more than ten seconds. They'll never find themselves screaming at clouds to move once they blocked the sun at the exact moment when the camera team finally got ready.
Some people climb mountains or travel the world just to get a stunning look at the setting sun, but the way I see it, you'll never truly appreciate a sunset until there are three crucial shots that need to be captured in the twenty minutes of perfect golden light at the very end of a long day. What will make it even more appreciated is when these shots don't all get finished and you have to work on Saturday, which means you have to reschedule that date.
Well it looks like call time is 6:00. Maybe she's around on Sunday.
A License
So I'm down here in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania as the first assistant camera on a new History Channel pilot, and today I broke more traffic laws in a two hour stretch than I have in my entire life, at least since high school. Of course, given that all of these misdemeanors were committed for the good of the production, all of them are forgiven, and without repercussion! The only time we were ever stopped by the police was when two of the local officers noticed that we were cruising through the middle of town with the minivan's side doors wide open so the DP could shoot some driving shots. After a brief chat, we explained the nature of the production and the officers reminded us to buckle up as we drove off to break more laws.
Having the side doors open while driving and having unfastened passengers are minor details in the grand scheme of things. Next thing I know, the host of the show is on a motorcycle and we're about ten feet behind him in the minivan. I'm driving this car which, by the way, belongs to the director and MUST NOT get a scratch on it, and the DP is standing directly behind me, shooting from outside the sunroof.
I'm at the wheel of this car taking orders from the director and all sorts of things are going through my mind: Am I worried about endangering the DP and the astronomically unaffordable rental camera with the new Canon HJ14ex4.3B Wide Angle lens, which hasn't even existed for more than a month or two? Am I worried about rear-ending the shiny blue Harley we rented for the host? Am I trying to show off my commitment to the project and my driving abilities because the director and DP are in the car with me? Am I worried about my own safety?
All of the above, perhaps?
However, one of the things I'm not worried about at this point is law enforcement. I'm having too much fun, and besides, we're a production crew! I got the feeling that having all the camera gear and just carrying such entitlement gave us a license to own the roads. I felt like we could suddenly do whatever we wanted to, as long as we got the shots in the can.
Of course, just when I think I'm coasting, the DP sits back down in the backseat and rolls open the side door. Suddenly the director tells me to wait for the oncoming car lane to clear up so I can get alongside the motorcycle. A little terror, maybe some nervous laughter, but I'll admit I was grinning; I love playing England.
So we're taking up the entire span of narrow two-way roads, driving considerably faster than the speed limit. We even hit the roundabout in the center of town and did five or six laps in the busy intersection like this, but nobody said anything. As far as all the Gettysburg tourists are concerned, it's just one more out-of-the-ordinary occurrence to stop and stare and take a picture of. Then, once we've had our fun and we've all taken lots of good pictures, we'll all go on to the next sights to see, get our cameras ready, and probably forget all about just having broken at least a dozen or more traffic laws.